PAP ALERT!! Will They Or Won't They?

Hallo Sweeties!

Well, news sizzling hot off the wire here at Studio Douche is the 'speculation' that our favourite young Prince William might be readying himself to tie the knot, and get cracking with the unenviable task of producing more precocious Royal brats, with none other than the Ms Kate 'Jobless' Middleton.

I wouldn't be betting my money on it, if the Paparazzi have their way! If it were me, I'd definitely avoid walking out of the revolving doors of posh restaurants, or being driven in tunnels, or wearing too much 'Royal Blue'.

So don't go buying that merchandise yet, because we at Studio Douche have come up with another design alternative, should Kate find herself trapped in a deathly 'pap-attack'.


Our attractive plate design, created by the top intern in our studio, can be pre-ordered simply by emailing us at:
william&danawedding@studiodouche.com.

Hurry while stocks last!

Yours,

DD

Pump Up The Beer!

Sweeties,

The hangovers from Oktoberfest have long faded away, so just to remind you, here we present a short teaser from our 'World's Longest Beer Mile' story we shot previously for The Dana Douche Show. I think it clearly demonstrates, that while beer can be fun, the adverse effects it can have on your health, dignity and ability to attract certain members of the opposite sex, cannot be ignored.

And although our beloved intern who cut this video didn't really focus on the 'journalistic' aspects of the story, I think it holds a poignant message for us all, and reinforces that stereotype we all hold dear, about Germans and their love for beer.

Prost!

x. DD

DISCLAIMER - No one enjoyed beer in moderation throughout the filming of this clip!

You asked for It, you got it!

More Herr Glööckler.. Ring my bell!

Introducing the REAL Brüno!

Alöha Lovelies!

Here at Studio Douche we thought we should spread the news - Harald Glööckler IS the inspiration for Sascha Baron Cohen's Brüno! I tell you what, this man doesn't mind throwing his Umlauts about - if we were to write his name phonetically it would turn out something like "Harald Gloeoeckler", which is indeed a mouthful.

As our trusted celebrity sources have it, Glööckler (known for his wild lifestyle and ostentatious fashions) met with Sascha Baron Cohen prior to the shooting of Brüno, to discuss fashion and life on the fast lane.
If you take a peek at our new Dana Douche Show Trailer, you'll see Glööckler complimenting me on my two-piece suit ensemble. And I have to say, after meeting them both "in the flesh", I find Herr Glööckler , whose style is truly classical and 'timeless', to be the most authentic of the two!

Till next,

Dana D.

Sweat, Blood and Beers - The Dana Douche Show Trailer!

Hallo Lovelies,

Well, it's been a wild ride.. so far we've exposed the dangers of alcoholism, uncovered the exploitation of women in the work place, done some 'dirty dancing', and taken Nordic Walking to a whole new level - not to mention rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, including Elvis, Bonnie Tyler, Wolfgang Joop, Rapper 'Bushido' and the King of Beer himself, Herr Gambrinus. And now we have a little video to show for it, so please - grab some pretzels, pour yourself a G & T, and enjoy the (rather short circa 1 minute in length) trailer for the Dana Douche show.

Yours,
DD

PS - It's the German version - English version coming soon!

Turn Around - Dana Douche meets Bonnie Tyler!

Hallo Süsßen!

Remember that song from the 80's - the one that went on about "turning around" and "bright eyes" and "every now and then it falls apart"? It was of course called 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' by Bonnie Tyler, and still remains a classic today.

My producer worked her magic to line me up with an interview with the Welsh star, who was as charming as she was botoxed! And we even sang the classic song together, resulting in dear Bonnie commenting on my wonderful voice. Perhaps I should take up that pop star career after all?

We also met the leader of the Bonnie Tyler German Fanclub, who we later exposed as a crazed stalker from East Germany, and with further research, realised she was in the original video of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' as one of the Ninja Dancers. Not kidding!

Yours,
DD
Turn around, Bright Eyes!
Bonnie recommends I get a round of Botox for my problem 'frown' area
I don't know how she did it, but this stalker managed to get backstage, and then went on to tell me about the wonders of botox! The nerve!

Horst Schlämmer for President!

Hü hu Darlings!

A fellow intern of mine many years ago at a local German newspaper is now in the spotlight - he's running for the Chancellorship in Germany in 2009! He wasn't the brightest spark back then, but it's funny how often the least-liked person at school becomes the most successful later in life.

I daresay if he makes it, I might even get a spot in the cabinet - I'm aiming for 'Minister of Perks', lobbying for the rights of politicians - free hors d'oeuvres, duck houses, hard liquor and unlimited chauffeur usage - to name a few. I really don't think politicians get enough free stuff, for the sacrifices they make!


Have a further look at Herr Schlämmer here (in Deutsch only!). We were at his movie Premiere after-party on Monday evening, and got to talk to some of the stars there. Typically for such a big name, Hörst was nowhere in sight - no doubt he was on his way home in the regional train in time for Mutti's curfew.

With policies like free cosmetic surgery for all, and unlimited sunbed tanning, he's definitely coming through with effective policies that will get a lot of people's votes in these celebrity-obsessed times. Three cheers for Schlämmer!