Katie Price shows lack of 'Tittiquette' at Vienna Ball

When I think of Vienna, images of dancing horses, exquisite cakes and literary greats sipping coffee and writing poetry in grand old cafes spring to mind.

My bubble really burst with the news that none other than reality-star wanna-be and queen of the most 'Chavviest' order, KATIE PRICE, was this year's honoured guest at the Vienna Opera Ball! Have we lost all sense of grace and propriety?? It's obvious that Richard Lugner - the Ball's filthy rich host, has been slowly losing his marbles in his old age.. as most men with too much money and not enough dress sense are want to do!

Richard Lugner, the Ball's host, illustrates his preferences

Not kidding sweethearts, this really takes the cake! If it wasn't for Lindsay Lohan's overzealous shop in duty free in LA, causing her to miss her flight, then we would have all been spared the embarrassment. Perhaps they should have called in the Producers from 'Ladettes to Ladies' for this one?

Lindsay goes shopping last-minute in LA Airport Duty-Free as her private jet to Vienna takes off

Meanwhile, Katie Price is hired as the first drag queen to ever have graced the ball

Priceless Katie spent more time keeping those DDD's in her gown than actually talking to guests! And I hate to think of the wardrobe malfunction that ensued on the dance floor! I just hope for Katie's sake, she got given a free copy of 'Fit For Society' - written by none other than Herr Lugner's ex-wife. A few etiquette tips would not go astray, which is more than I can say for the bosoms.

Yours,

DD

By the way, if you're curious about learning more about how to succeed as a woman in High-Society, you can buy Christina's revealing book here

PAP ALERT!! Will They Or Won't They?

Hallo Sweeties!

Well, news sizzling hot off the wire here at Studio Douche is the 'speculation' that our favourite young Prince William might be readying himself to tie the knot, and get cracking with the unenviable task of producing more precocious Royal brats, with none other than the Ms Kate 'Jobless' Middleton.

I wouldn't be betting my money on it, if the Paparazzi have their way! If it were me, I'd definitely avoid walking out of the revolving doors of posh restaurants, or being driven in tunnels, or wearing too much 'Royal Blue'.

So don't go buying that merchandise yet, because we at Studio Douche have come up with another design alternative, should Kate find herself trapped in a deathly 'pap-attack'.


Our attractive plate design, created by the top intern in our studio, can be pre-ordered simply by emailing us at:
william&danawedding@studiodouche.com.

Hurry while stocks last!

Yours,

DD

Pump Up The Beer!

Sweeties,

The hangovers from Oktoberfest have long faded away, so just to remind you, here we present a short teaser from our 'World's Longest Beer Mile' story we shot previously for The Dana Douche Show. I think it clearly demonstrates, that while beer can be fun, the adverse effects it can have on your health, dignity and ability to attract certain members of the opposite sex, cannot be ignored.

And although our beloved intern who cut this video didn't really focus on the 'journalistic' aspects of the story, I think it holds a poignant message for us all, and reinforces that stereotype we all hold dear, about Germans and their love for beer.

Prost!

x. DD

DISCLAIMER - No one enjoyed beer in moderation throughout the filming of this clip!

You asked for It, you got it!

More Herr Glööckler.. Ring my bell!

Introducing the REAL Brüno!

Alöha Lovelies!

Here at Studio Douche we thought we should spread the news - Harald Glööckler IS the inspiration for Sascha Baron Cohen's Brüno! I tell you what, this man doesn't mind throwing his Umlauts about - if we were to write his name phonetically it would turn out something like "Harald Gloeoeckler", which is indeed a mouthful.

As our trusted celebrity sources have it, Glööckler (known for his wild lifestyle and ostentatious fashions) met with Sascha Baron Cohen prior to the shooting of Brüno, to discuss fashion and life on the fast lane.
If you take a peek at our new Dana Douche Show Trailer, you'll see Glööckler complimenting me on my two-piece suit ensemble. And I have to say, after meeting them both "in the flesh", I find Herr Glööckler , whose style is truly classical and 'timeless', to be the most authentic of the two!

Till next,

Dana D.

Sweat, Blood and Beers - The Dana Douche Show Trailer!

Hallo Lovelies,

Well, it's been a wild ride.. so far we've exposed the dangers of alcoholism, uncovered the exploitation of women in the work place, done some 'dirty dancing', and taken Nordic Walking to a whole new level - not to mention rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, including Elvis, Bonnie Tyler, Wolfgang Joop, Rapper 'Bushido' and the King of Beer himself, Herr Gambrinus. And now we have a little video to show for it, so please - grab some pretzels, pour yourself a G & T, and enjoy the (rather short circa 1 minute in length) trailer for the Dana Douche show.

Yours,
DD

PS - It's the German version - English version coming soon!

Turn Around - Dana Douche meets Bonnie Tyler!

Hallo Süsßen!

Remember that song from the 80's - the one that went on about "turning around" and "bright eyes" and "every now and then it falls apart"? It was of course called 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' by Bonnie Tyler, and still remains a classic today.

My producer worked her magic to line me up with an interview with the Welsh star, who was as charming as she was botoxed! And we even sang the classic song together, resulting in dear Bonnie commenting on my wonderful voice. Perhaps I should take up that pop star career after all?

We also met the leader of the Bonnie Tyler German Fanclub, who we later exposed as a crazed stalker from East Germany, and with further research, realised she was in the original video of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' as one of the Ninja Dancers. Not kidding!

Yours,
DD
Turn around, Bright Eyes!
Bonnie recommends I get a round of Botox for my problem 'frown' area
I don't know how she did it, but this stalker managed to get backstage, and then went on to tell me about the wonders of botox! The nerve!