The World's LONGEST Beer Mile!

Hällöö Süssen!

Last weekend, I just couldn't turn down the Ambassador of Belgium's offer to come and join him at the opening day of the world's LONGEST Beer Mile, even though there was not a g&t or champas in sight! His Excellency invited us to the VIP tent, where we mingled with distinguished guests such as the 'Queen of Beer' and the legendary Gambrinus (aka 'John The Fearless'), the Patron Saint of Beer and Brewing. Luckily my driver was on call, as I managed to sample at least 1,200 beers from all around the world, while at the same time, raising awareness for alcoholism and the myriad of problems associated with it.

Enjoy the pics and till next,
DD

Gambrinus sings a merry song, while I enjoy the fruits of the harvest, in an idyllic European setting

I discuss with Her Majesty The Queen of Beer which alcoholic figure in the pictures, she most identifies with. Remember, as David Hasselfhoff once said - the first step to self-help, is self-realization!

His Excellency The Ambassador of Belgium and I, ponder this rare fine Belgian brew

It wasn't long though, before I was stopped by these drinking police, who had the nerve to ask me for I.D. and then insisted on humiliating me in front of all the people on the beer mile (which is actually 2.2 kilometres), by forcing me to take a breathalyser test

I now have an acquired a taste for rustic mountain cherry beer

SCANDAL(ASS) - Paparazzi snap Dana's Touche!

No matter how professional you are, mishaps can and DO occur. From Janet Jackson's famous wardrobe malfunction at the MTV awards (that pesky nipple popping out from her bustier) to Britney Spears' 'snatch-flash' shot (an expertly angled photograph of Britney's nether regions as she made her not-so-graceful exit from her limousine) - no celebrity is safe from the lenses of malicious photographers looking to make their million for that one *scandalous* shot.

And last week I, Dana Douche, was targeted by such a Paparazzo, who succeeded in taking a shot of my rear end while bending over, as I innocently went about my reportage work. The cheek! Or in this case, two larger ones. The results are too shocking to publish on this page, so you'll have to click on this link: http://www.mein-ostdeutschland.de/photos/detail/2544/50974

The photographer in question is none other than celebrity photographer known on the red carpets as 'OPARAZZI', pictured below. 'Opa' in German means Grandpa, so you can understand the name. He's a rather cute old man, and he'd make a good Santa Claus, too.


Needless to say, my stylist was given a stern talking to for the split on the skirt, and contrary to what Oparazzi mentioned on his website (that perhaps I'd eaten a little too many burgers at the 'Hooters' opening), I am still following a strict diet regime.

Till next,

Dana

Nordic Shopping Part Two!

Hallo my Lovelies,

We hired yet another young, impressionable and cheap intern at Studio Douche, who cut together this cute edit of the FINALE to the Nordic Shopping stunt. Raise your glasses please, for Part Two of the Nordic Shopping experience. In all seriousness, I do think it should be officially recognised as a sport. Stay tuned for the next Olympic bid!

Yours ever faithfully,

The Producers - funny, exciting, and GERMAN!

Hallo Ihr Süssen!

We attended the VIP Premiere last night of The Producer's, at Berlin's Admiralspalast Theatre. Not only was it a star-studded occasion, but to my surprise, the show was actually rather fabulous. It's amazing to think that Germans are finally able to play themselves, making fun of themselves,'heiling' all the while and dancing in Swastika formations! The cast (some of which I interviewed last week) received standing ovations from the audience - I think there was a tinge of emotion felt by all that Mel Brook's production had finally made it to Berlin.

On the red carpet I had cordial chats with fashion meister Wolfgang Joop (who admired my 'Bretzel' bracelet that I created especially for the event), David Bowie's ex-lover Romy Haag (who was wearing an amazing fur shoulder piece no doubt many furry animals died for), Berlin chanteuse Tim Fischer (always a charming conversationalist), and a whole array of other well-heeled folk I was ordered by my producer to chat with.

And for the first time I utilized my new and exciting reportage tool designed by my old friends at the 'Schoenberg Spy Shop' - Dana Douche's all-new, patented 'SHOE CAM' technology. You guessed it - it's a 'second view' of the red carpet - celebrities' shoes! We here at Studio Douche think it's important to show viewers what stars are wearing on their feet, and we also think one can glean just that little bit more by doing a little bit of shoe-gazing.

We're flat off our feet here (!) so please be patient with pics and video snippets. I assure you they are currently being processed with the latest technologies and will be up right here at the Dana Douche blog soon.

Yours as always,

Dana Douche