Friday, 24 July 2009

Cats That Look Like Hitler


Hallöchen,

Here's something we found at Studio Douche that we thought worthy of posting. These kitties are called 'Kitlers', and they're unwittingly competing against eachother on this website. But I wonder how a 'Kitler' behaves at home, to complete the resemblance? I mean, we still don't really know enough about cats - you never know what they're really up to - setting up totalitarian states by the heater in the lounge room, massacring millions of mice, and hatching plans in the cellar to invade Poland . Now it's proven - these soft, furry, egotistical creatures are just 'pure evil'.

Yours,
DD

Thursday, 23 July 2009

SCANDAL(ASS) - Paparazzi snap Dana's Touche!

No matter how professional you are, mishaps can and DO occur. From Janet Jackson's famous wardrobe malfunction at the MTV awards (that pesky nipple popping out from her bustier) to Britney Spears' 'snatch-flash' shot (an expertly angled photograph of Britney's nether regions as she made her not-so-graceful exit from her limousine) - no celebrity is safe from the lenses of malicious photographers looking to make their million for that one *scandalous* shot.

And last week I, Dana Douche, was targeted by such a Paparazzo, who succeeded in taking a shot of my rear end while bending over, as I innocently went about my reportage work. The cheek! Or in this case, two larger ones. The results are too shocking to publish on this page, so you'll have to click on this link: http://www.mein-ostdeutschland.de/photos/detail/2544/50974

The photographer in question is none other than celebrity photographer known on the red carpets as 'OPARAZZI', pictured below. 'Opa' in German means Grandpa, so you can understand the name. He's a rather cute old man, and he'd make a good Santa Claus, too.


Needless to say, my stylist was given a stern talking to for the split on the skirt, and contrary to what Oparazzi mentioned on his website (that perhaps I'd eaten a little too many burgers at the 'Hooters' opening), I am still following a strict diet regime.

Till next,

Dana

Monday, 6 July 2009

Sneak Pics - Elvis et al...

Hi there lovelies,

While I'm on my summer break in St Tropez, I just thought I'd keep you all tantalised with some sneaky preview pictures from my wonderful encounter with Dusty Springfield, Elvis, and the bountiful Bette Midler, at the earth-moving Stars concert. The interview was a highly revealing look into the lives and complex talents of these iconic performers. Special thanks must go to Boy George for his cooperation on this story!

(By the way, I'll be meeting Antonio Banderas in the coming weeks so stay tuned - he's a nice cut of Jamon, that Antonio!)

Au revoir till next time!
x DD

It's only hard-hitting journalism here, as I probe Elvis and Bette Midler on an alleged affair.
I sweetened Elvis up with a packet of German sausage (classic journalistic technique, not to be confused with bribery), and he came forth with the saucy details..
I've always fancied myself as a bit of a 'chanteuse', so here's me showing them my rendition of 'Wings beneath my Wind' - the classic tear-jerking song from 'Beached'. Dusty, Elvis and Bette - die Süße!