Nordic Shopping Part Two!

Hallo my Lovelies,

We hired yet another young, impressionable and cheap intern at Studio Douche, who cut together this cute edit of the FINALE to the Nordic Shopping stunt. Raise your glasses please, for Part Two of the Nordic Shopping experience. In all seriousness, I do think it should be officially recognised as a sport. Stay tuned for the next Olympic bid!

Yours ever faithfully,

Ok, now's the time

Although I've been busy 'Nordic Shopping' away the calories through Europe's most fashionable shopping districts, I am still of the belief that 'Jazzercise' is one of the most effective exercise regimes for trimming any of that unwanted flab from problem areas.

Here's a video to get you started. These ladies have it really down pat! Get loose for heaven's sake - you don't want to get caught out with arm flab flapping about in the summer breeze, do you?



Yours,

Dana Douche

The Producers - funny, exciting, and GERMAN!

Hallo Ihr Süssen!

We attended the VIP Premiere last night of The Producer's, at Berlin's Admiralspalast Theatre. Not only was it a star-studded occasion, but to my surprise, the show was actually rather fabulous. It's amazing to think that Germans are finally able to play themselves, making fun of themselves,'heiling' all the while and dancing in Swastika formations! The cast (some of which I interviewed last week) received standing ovations from the audience - I think there was a tinge of emotion felt by all that Mel Brook's production had finally made it to Berlin.

On the red carpet I had cordial chats with fashion meister Wolfgang Joop (who admired my 'Bretzel' bracelet that I created especially for the event), David Bowie's ex-lover Romy Haag (who was wearing an amazing fur shoulder piece no doubt many furry animals died for), Berlin chanteuse Tim Fischer (always a charming conversationalist), and a whole array of other well-heeled folk I was ordered by my producer to chat with.

And for the first time I utilized my new and exciting reportage tool designed by my old friends at the 'Schoenberg Spy Shop' - Dana Douche's all-new, patented 'SHOE CAM' technology. You guessed it - it's a 'second view' of the red carpet - celebrities' shoes! We here at Studio Douche think it's important to show viewers what stars are wearing on their feet, and we also think one can glean just that little bit more by doing a little bit of shoe-gazing.

We're flat off our feet here (!) so please be patient with pics and video snippets. I assure you they are currently being processed with the latest technologies and will be up right here at the Dana Douche blog soon.

Yours as always,

Dana Douche

NEWSFLASH - Stars, politicians and celebrity architecture!

Well my lovelies,

I'm so excited I can barely speak - next week, I've been given exclusive interviews with none other than Hitler, Elvis, and the Chrysler Building, to name a few!
Yes dears, it's a star-studded week of red carpet events and cabaret shows.
First up we'll be heading over to the backstage area of the Admiralspalast in Berlin during rehearsals of 'The Producers', Mel Brooks' famous musical, which features tap-dancing storm troopers and a camp Hitler singing "Heil Myself". Since touring London, New York and everywhere else in Europe while managing to skirt the edges of Germany, it's finally landed in the Teutonic capital - an historic event that's got the German media buzzing. I just can't wait to meet Hitler, who'll be accompanied by his side-kick, The Chrysler Building, which is apparently played by one of Berlin's most famous drag queens.



Then we're off on Wednesday to see legendary cabaret show 'Stars In Concert', with Europe's most talented celebrity impersonators. There, I'll have the pleasure of eating a burger with Elvis, having a cry with showgirl Bette Midler (remember that iconic movie 'Beaches'?), and knocking back a few Jägermeister shots with Dusty Springfield. I think we'll find it takes a lot of talent to be a dead star, and ever more to play one that's still alive. Unfortunately Tina Turner can't make it (I was hoping to dish up some dirt on Ike) but there is no doubt it will be a revealing celebrity moment.

And on Friday I'll be joining the legions of adorable swines in the press pit (minus the flu, I hope) at the red carpet, for the Berlin Premiere of 'The Producers', where we will hope to lure the show's creator Mel Brooks to our own little red carpet with free gin cocktails and Douche-style giveaways.

It's going to be an exciting, celebrity-packed week! To this day I never thought I would secure interviews with such illustrious guests, with such impressionable resumes!

Do stay tuned for saucy pics and video snips!

Yours,

Dana Douche

High Tea at Claridges

Hello Dears,
Well, one can't visit London without popping into Claridges for a spot of tea or a Bellini. And so it was on Saturday at around midday, that I found myself seated in a pleasingly strategic spot in the corner of the grand reading room.

Certainly the medication I am currently prescribed to gave new meaning to the meaning of 'High Tea', but in no way did it interfere with my skills at scoping out the room for a suitably attired wealthy gentleman or Russian Oligarch. Keep an eye out - this is what the average 'Oligarch' often looks like


The service was impeccable, as one would expect, and for that we can only thank the growing numbers of new Eastern European EU states, for providing a plethora of fresh-faced young waiters happy for the privilege of being paid a pittance.
Unfortunately, the tea leaves in my Early Grey did not predict an encounter with a worthy and solvent future husband or aging celebrity, but I did make some new friends, such as John the charming lift attendant, and James, the also charming porter.


I should add that the most impressive feature of the lift was the three metre long chaise-lounge installed inside it, just in case your weary legs tire somewhere on the way up to you 3rd floor suite. And John was happy to let me in on a secret, which you won't find in any budget traveller blog or Guardian newspaper - for those on a more modest budget, the lift itself can be rented for a night, at a very affordable price. The only drawback of course is having to spend a night with John, but he seemed a lovely chap and only too happy to have a chat.


To round off a convivial afternoon, James suggested I make use of one of Claridges' chauffeured cars, for the short journey to my next appointment. On offer - a Porsche, and this gleaming red Ferrari. I find it always so difficult to choose between the two, but from my recent whirlwind trip through Germany I've discovered for myself that the Germans really do machines better.
Take care and until next,
Yours,
Dana Douche